Parents are not supposed to teach their children. Yet here we are, bracing ourselves each morning for the first row, cajoling our children out of bed, dealing with technological glitches and the panic of how to balance our own work commitments whilst still being expected to support our children’s learning.
All this can take a heavy toll on our relationships with our children, our partners and ultimately our own mental health. The good news is that we are not alone. Millions and millions of us are in the same position and there are positive steps that can easily be taken to make your home life less fraught.
Step One
Be kind to yourself.
Ask yourself what you have done for yourself this week. If you can, spend 15 minutes everyday doing something for you for example reading a book, having a bath, going for a short walk by yourself. It is extremely easy to sink into self-criticism and guilt about what you are doing wrong and lose sight of the joy that can come from being a parent as we take on the role of teacher. If you are feeling less stressed out, you will feel more able to create a happier and calmer environment in your home.
Step Two
You are doing better than you think.
At the end of each day share one thing that has gone well. Reflect on the positive and highlight any successes however small they are. If your internet worked well all day, then that is a huge positive! This could be brilliantly achieved by using a Positivity Jar in you home and filling it with a daily positive from every member of the family. Have a look at The Happy Journals on how to create your own Positivity Jar.
Step Three
Don’t let the curriculum get you down.
Some of you may be overwhelmed with the daily deluge of work and expectations, whilst others will be scrambling on the internet looking for their own schemes of work and worksheets, feeling that their schools are not doing enough. As parents, we are either frightened that our children cannot cope or that our children are going to fail because of a perceived lack of work. Teachers are struggling to get the balance right and meet expectations.
If you feel that your child is overburdened and feeling the pressure always contact the teacher and work out the best way forward together. They will help you plan a more flexible approach that may work better for you all.
If you are concerned that your child has not got enough to do, there are some wonderful resources to help. Have a look at the BBC Bitesize Learning at Home for a daily agenda of easy to follow programmes covering every school year as well as great tips for yourself (have a look at the toolkit for parents) and your children to combat a host of Lockdown issues.
Remember home is not a school and sometimes a routine may feel impossible. If that happens take the day off and do something enjoyable together knowing that you will go back to it tomorrow.
Step Four
How can we keep our children motivated?
Have realistic expectations. Agree with your child on their daily routine. A routine is extremely important, as it provides a structure and framework to your day and has proven benefits for good mental health. Where possible, maintain a consistent routine with regular mealtimes and sleep patterns. Try to use the morning for learning. allowing the afternoon for exercise and creative activities. These can be practical activities such as baking or art or visiting galleries, museums and other places of interest using the myriad of virtual platforms available online.
Step Five
Don’t let Social Media get you down.
Our social media feeds are saturated with families not just surviving but appearing to thrive. Remember people only post the good and what you don’t see is the huge tantrum that occurred moments earlier.
It has been said time and time again that these really are unprecedented times for us and there is no roadmap for parenting. What we do know is that our children will catch up. There are many examples of young people who have been forced to miss huge chunks of their education or have not had the privilege of having an education and they have still gone on to achieve in their lives.
Remember to practise being kind, gentle and compassionate to yourself and each other!
Keep safe and well.
Love
Lisa and Catherine
If anyone needs advice, guidance or just a reassuring chat, please send us a message on FB or messenger or email info@emparenting.co.uk. We will be closely monitoring and always available.
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